Wake Me Up Inside
by completelyconfused
Summary: As news of her death had sunk in, emotional stress hit him like a ton of bricks. His breaths had grown deeper and more ragged, his heart began to speed up in the cruelest way, and suddenly he had felt a bad case of nausea coming up. [NH]


**Authors Note: ** Hey guys, I've come with a one shot for you! And since I don't want to give too much away…I'll just say that this takes place after 412, and hopefully, by the end of this story you'll understand why I chose that specific episode.

**Summary: **As news of her death had sunk in, emotional stress hit him like a ton of bricks. His breaths had grown deeper and more ragged, his heart began to speed up in the cruelest way, and suddenly he had felt a bad case of nausea coming up. NH

_Wake Me Up Inside_

--

He silently watched the clock tick. The hands moved intolerably slowly, and it seemed as if mere seconds stretched into endless minutes. His head was spinning, and his heart was hammering in his chest.

His fingers were lightly drumming the perfectly cut wood of the table in front of him. And he was isolating himself from everyone else through the one door behind him.

He couldn't stand hearing about how sorry everyone was, how they wished things were different, how everything would be okay. But things weren't okay—he wasn't okay. Nothing any of them could say could bring her back, and in all, no words would be able to soothe him. No words could be said to bring him the comfort he so desperately needed.

He remembered as the news of her death had sunk in, emotional stress hit him like a ton of bricks. His breaths had grown deeper and more ragged, his heart had begun to speed up in the cruelest way feeling as if it was going to explode from his chest, and suddenly he had felt a bad case of nausea coming up. From that moment, things had gone downhill for him.

He shook his head and swallowed hard trying to force his memories further back into his head. _It was too late; there was nothing we could do. _Suddenly, he felt the anger and hurt coursing through his veins and he balled his hand into a fist and slammed it against the table. This wasn't real…it couldn't be real. None of this was really happening.

_But it is real_. He reminded himself, and let out a bitter laugh. _She left you after she promised you she wouldn't_. He sunk deeper into his chair and latched his hand onto the bottle of alcohol that had been sitting in front of him and took a huge swig.

He didn't know if all the blood had just rushed to his head or away from it. What he was sure of was that his chest felt like it was tightening around his heart, forcing it to beat twice as fast.

"Nathan," the woman said softly, and he turned around in his chair to look at her. Her light colored hair was tied up, but she had wisps of hair falling out to frame her face. She wore a simple yet elegant black dress, and had her hands over her protruding stomach. He was studying her face, and suddenly stopped to meet her warm brown eyes. "It's time to go."

"Hales, baby, I—" He choked on his words, unable to form a sentence. "I can't." He finally finished and turned away from her.

"We both know that she'd want you there, with her one last time." _Why don't you forget I exist and we'll call it even_. His voice echoed in his head, and he almost wanted to let out a scream of anguish. How he wanted to take back those words.

"I wish I could go back Haley. I wish I could go back and tell her that I love her, and that I really didn't want her out of my life. That I was just hurt, and a little angry, but that it would work itself out." She walked towards him now, and let her hands run through his newly cut hair.

"We all wish we could go back and do something different. We all have regrets Nathan." She whispered, and sat down on his lap. "But you can't live like that, you can't live with all these regrets." He turned away from her, shaking his head. She put her hands on the side of his face, and forced him to look into her eyes again. "You have to come, you have to at least tell her goodbye one last time. Or it will fester inside of you and become another regret that eats at your conscience." She told him, and he nodded, tears now falling from his eyes.

"Hales, God, just make it go away! Help stop the hurt." He whispered brokenly and she felt her breath catch in her throat as he pulled her to him and their lips crashed together in a rough kiss.

He knew that she was trying to give him what he wanted. This had been her reassurance, her way of giving him hope that things would get better. His kisses became more hungry over hers, looking for what he needed. He was pouring his feelings into her, and she gasped at the intensity of it all.

He gently placed her down on the hard table and buried himself in her. He was seeking a way out of his desperation and weak state. He wanted to let it all out one last time, but he needed her with him when he did.

His hands were trailing down body slowly, and were slowly unzipping her dress, and removing any barriers between their bodies. He ached to be with her, to have her. She was the only person in the world that could make him believe that this event wasn't going to change the rest of his life. She was the single human being that could prevent him from breaking apart completely.

His hands were everywhere, and she was beginning to whimper now. He could feel her tears mingling with his own. All their bottled up feelings were resurfacing, and were now being exposed to each other in the most primal of ways. They pulled away from each other only to look into each other's eyes, and their spirits began to lift as they moved together as one, mentally and physically.

--

He pushed open the door that had been temporarily blocking him from the rest of the world and stared at the casket ahead of him. Her picture lay in front of it, with her golden blonde hair shining, and her smile wide. She looked like a different person entirely.

He walked up the small pathway, and ignored all the pitying faces that looked his way. He took a deep breath before stepping forward, and looking into the casket where she lay. She looked at peace, as if she had no problems in the world. He swallowed back tears that had been threatening to fall looking at her. Never had he imagined that before his eighteenth birthday he'd be there, doing this, and saying goodbye to her forever.

He turned his head to the side, and saw his whole world. His wife was standing right beside him; his brother and friends were seated behind him. He also saw many others that had come to help him say goodbye, but his father wasn't amongst any of these people, and he wasn't surprised.

He looked upwards as if waiting for some sort of sign, as if something was going to happen. And when he realized nothing was going to, he looked around the swarm of faces around him before looking at her one last time.

Slowly, the world around Nathan started to fade out, and his thoughts were now filling the void in his senses. A steady throb pulsed through his head and his eyes fell out of focus, sending the world around him spinning. Nathan's breaths came shorter, sharper, the pull on his stomach growing stronger with each intake. His heartbeat pounded against the walls of his ears, drowning out the clamor of the people around him. Suddenly, the feeling of nausea was coming back and he had to clutch his wife's hand to stay standing.

_Mom, you're leaving._

_I'm not doing this anymore. _

If only he knew how right he was when he had said those final words to her.

-------------------------

Thalia


End file.
